


For hopeless days, drink chocolate milk and peel oranges with your people.

by citrus_season



Category: Gintama
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Drabble, Established Relationship, Introspection, M/M, One scene Two perspectives, Rain, a vending machine, its sad, pls dont read if sad things trigger you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-23
Updated: 2020-11-23
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:23:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27672656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/citrus_season/pseuds/citrus_season
Summary: One scene, Two perspectives.
Relationships: Hijikata Toshirou/Sakata Gintoki
Comments: 7
Kudos: 41





	For hopeless days, drink chocolate milk and peel oranges with your people.

**Author's Note:**

> HELLO! This gets really sad, so please don't read it if sad prose triggers you!

_Gintoki._

Gintoki pushes the button for milk soda. He's wondering whether he should have chosen the tangerine flavor, when someone stops to stand next to him. 

He peeks at the muddied, wet shoes from under his umbrella and takes in the lingering smell of cigarette smoke. It scratches along the inside of his nose with how crisp it smells, maybe because of the weather?

He reaches down to retrieve his can of soda, "Have you finally remembered to come home, Hijikata-san? You remembered the husband you've left behind to chase after skirts in the streets?"

"...What nonsense. We aren't married."

Gintoki balances the handle of his umbrella between his elbow to open his treat. He takes a chug.

"Buy me a cold coffee." Hijikata says eventually.

"You know I'm the sugar baby in this relationship, Yeah?" Gintoki looks to the side to take him in. It's been a month.

Hijikata stands next to him soaked through his clothes without an umbrella. His hair drips water down his pale face like a sad song that doesn't know when to end. When their eyes meet, all Gintoki can focus on is how his eyes are red-rimmed. 

For a moment, Gintoki stares fixated at his chest, and only blinks when he sees it expand naturally with a breath.

"We get it, you want to look sexy for all of your fans, getting wet in the rain," He says, pushing in a coin and pressing the button for a warm chocolate milk, "But I don't want to be labelled a widower just because my husband is stupid enough to die from Pneumonia." 

As Gintoki waits, all he can hear is the rain. The machine makes a sound, metal against metal, and Gintoki takes out the drink. 

"We aren't married." Hijikata says again, voice lost against a bigger, more exhausting world, "I asked for a coffee."

"Well," Gintoki says, side-stepping and draping his arm over Hijikata's shoulders. He's cold. He shakes the can in front of him, "When you want Gin-san to play sugar daddy for once, you have to be prepared for it because Gin-san is a big S. I only do things that make me happy." 

Hijikata looks at him under the umbrella as if he wants to make sure of something. He clicks his tongue, takes the can with shivering fingers. "Maybe it's better to get a divorce."

"No." Gintoki says, "Who will peel me oranges if you're gone? You know Gin-san has short nails." He pulls him in the direction of Yorozuya, arm falling around his waist, "Come on, I have some at home for you to peel."

Later that night, Hijikata curves into his side on the futon, head resting on his arm and his breath warm against Gintoki's neck. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


_Hijikata._

It's been a month since Hijikata has been able to see him. For moments, he hesitates as he looks at Gintoki spending several minutes standing in front of the vending machine. 

He stays there a few feet away and wishes Gintoki left so he can make an excuse about not going to him, even though his excuses never seem to work on himself. 

Hijikata remembers how he walked away from the Shinsengumi headquarters without entering when they finally returned from Kyo this morning. Sougo and Kondo's faces are unclear in his most recent memories. 

Now he watches Gintoki tilt his head this way then that. He almost drops his coins in his distraction, then does a little step to regain his balance. Hijikata is engulfed by an unexpected bout of longing. He starts walking. The rain feels like it's haunting his very being as he takes heavy step after heavy step towards his boyfriend.

Hijikata stops next to him in front of the vending machine. Gintoki presses the button of the milk soda, and Hijikata wonders what his other choice had been. 

Gintoki doesn’t look at him, says, “Have you finally remembered to come home, Hijikata-san? You remembered the husband you've left behind to chase after skirts in the streets?"

Suddenly, Hijikata’s fingers itch for another cigarette. He had his last one under the awning of a nearby convenience store just a few minutes ago, which now feel like they never even existed. What started as a tentative pitter-patter has now evolved into a heavy rain, and now even his undershirt has become wet, so he doubts there are any dry ones left to burn.

“What nonsense,” he says, even as he imagines a non-existent, domestic lifestyle, “We aren’t married.”

Hijikata considers this vending machine, a polished orange against the blue-hue of the wall only dulled by the rain. The muscles under his eyes strain against the cold rain drops. He doesn’t remember the last time he has slept. He should sleep.

“Buy me a cold coffee.” He says instead, vaguely registering a shiver passing through his body.

"You know I'm the sugar baby in this relationship, Yeah?" Gintoki finally looks at him. The beige washi paper of his umbrella throws light against his skin in warm tones. His eyes are bright. Hijikata feels like an overflowing swimming pool.

“We get it,” Gintoki is saying, and Hijikata blinks and tries to find his footing again, “You want to look sexy for all of your fans, getting wet in the rain.” He pushes in a coin and selects a can of chocolate milk, which is Gintoki’s go-to drink whenever something doesn’t go his way, like missing the toilet-paper sale, or Ketsuno Ana going on a vacation, or whenever he thinks his youngest kid is growing up too fast and making too many male friends, “I don't want to be labelled a widower just because my husband is stupid enough to die from Pneumonia.” 

He suddenly wonders how many people hold the smallest things close to their hearts. He thinks about hope, and he thinks about how sometimes people have to dwell in the absence of it like creatures wearing human skin. He wonders if someone wanted to see rainfall as much as him during the summer, but cannot anymore. He thinks about all the lives he couldn’t save, and instead of the will to get stronger, he feels the greatest sense of loss. Was there ever a meaning if the wall never breaks no matter how much he changes?

“We aren’t married,” he says, wondering if the rain will ever stop beating down on them, “I asked for coffee.”

“Well,” Gintoki says, his tone indecipherable. He pulls him in with a warm arm around his shoulders, heavy, “When you want Gin-san to play sugar daddy for once, you have to be prepared for it because Gin-san is a big S. I only do things that make me happy."

Hijikata considers how he uses selfish words to express his concern. Gintoki’s looking at him without any expression, with that familiar blank face. Hijikata waits for that urge of wanting to be alone to consume him again, feeling vulnerable with people looking at him when he feels like an open wound. It never comes.

He takes the can of milk, “Maybe it’s better to get a divorce.” he says, hand warming up gradually.

“No." Gintoki says with surety, "Who will peel me oranges if you're gone? You know Gin-san has short nails." Gintoki’s arm wraps around his waist easily, “Come on, I have some at home for you to peel.”

He doesn’t end up peeling any oranges. Instead he plays Uno with Gintoki and his kid, before they eat a warm dinner and go to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> This was writing practice; I'm trying to find my voice. This entire thing started with me wondering about the difference in writing between Gintoki's POV and Hijikata's POV. 
> 
> I imagine Gintoki doesn't think too deeply about a lot of things. He's simple in a very intense way. In contrast, I imagine Hijikata having more sensual sensibilities. I think Hiji has hobbies of reading books or watching indie films. I think he enjoys searching for them and indulging in them. I just wanted to see how I'd be able to write them each, for starters.
> 
> Although this was just for practice, and I don't know if it's enjoyable or not, I think maybe even a couple people like me enjoy this kind of content? haha. this is for those couple people then.
> 
> I think Gintoki has already eaten too many sweets for the day, and has reached his glycemic limit. so he doesn't just buy both milk soda and tangerine? also why they don't eat tangerines back at the Yorozuya home.
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/citrus_season)  
> 


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